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why teaching music in a music center sucks

life is too short for the wrong job

i teach how to wank guitar since 17 years old . It has been almost 5 years now since 2003… and i have concluded that teaching music in a music center sucks

Don’t bother debating it with me , really ..

it sucks

it sucks

it sucks

okay .why ? i better be more constructive , if not Faizal is going to nail me okay , the reasons..drum roll~~

stuff you need to know before teaching music . gapnap proudly presents , the lifestyle

you wish.

1.You deal with 4 parties . Directly .

This 4 babies consist of :

a)boss

relate to this

“hey , this guy xxxx has been learning for 2 years , can we promote him to grade 5 already? So that his fees will be RM180 , then win win situation”

“hey , why don’t you teach using THIS BOOK (hand over the most expensive book on the shelf ) , and make your student buy it-lah”

“Why are you late? 5 minutes is MONEY you know”

“Hey , since 1 of your student havent pay fees , i have to postpone your salary til he pays the fee, cause i have no money “

“i am sorry ! ”

b)student’s parents

you gotta smile *must . even though you are having sakit perut or you just broke up with your gf..SMILE ..and tell them

“your son is one of the fastest learner among all my students”

or

“your son good lah , improving lah”

tip : use that line to every parent ..

c)students

If your student thinks you are cool , ok , you are on the right path . If not , i give it 6 months max for him to quit your class .

tip:

acting as a bad boy / gangster / rockstar / play boy works. Gamer also can lah sometimes . tell him your DOTA stratergy and favorite heros , or tell him how you wack and parang 1 feller last month , or how to nail this chick from a club , or football ..be creative .. yeah..he sure think you are cool

d) other teachers

believe it or not , teachers do have BIG politics too…just like Malaysian dreamgirls

Malaysian Dreamgirls with loads of Drama.all smiling and backstabbing each other

why is it IMPOSSIBLE to PLEASE EVERYONE

The expectations:

a) BOSS

expects you keep a student as long as possible , whether you teach properly or not..

so that the money will come in to put food on his table

b) Student’s parents

expects their sons/daughters to eliminate their “kids competitors” (auntie’s son , friends son, church’s guitarist ) with their guitar playing skills . They want you to TEACH and make their kids LEARN so that they have something to brag about to others

c) Student

Do not want to learn anything , since they are forced by their parents

d) other teachers

Expect you to eat lunch with them , yamcha with them and talk behind your back when you are not around

aiyohhhhhhhhhh……headache headache headache…STRESS STRESS STRESS !!

HOW TO PLEASE ALL OF YOU ALL AT THE SAME TIME ! ? ! $%#%!*&!$^*&!$^*&^$!!!

So for those who wanna start teaching , i can tell you right now ..dealing with THIS ISSUE alone is not easy

teaching is never exciting

2.Teachers are Underpaid

Teaching in a center , is sort of a DAY JOB lah ..i have to be there 3 times a week , around 5 hours per session..arrgh! i actually know people who teach from 10am-9pm 6 days a WEEK , those guys are crazy

Come on pal , Teaching is TIRING as ****

ask any Lecturer , or PASTOR . How tiring it is to give a 2 hour sermon or a 2 hour lecture . VERY TIRING . why ? because it is a 1 way communication ..

Teaching Music is also a 1 way Communication , unless your student talks cock with you …

you see , i work from 5pm-10pm ...i am giving a 1 way communication education POWER LECTURE for like 5 hours in a row ? yeah , i make sure i bring at least 1.5 litres of water , if not i sure die ..

yeah now you see why is it tough

tough tough tough. i hate my job !

Okay , back to Underpaid.. TEACHERS ARE

the management takes HALF of what the students are paying , or 60% …uhh..but still..

Just say the student is paying RM80 , so its RM40 per student ?

10 Students = RM400 ,

20 students = RM800 ? OMFG …total con job

not to mention the commission for selling an instrument is super low ..like 10-15% …(some centers don’t even give commission for anything under RM500 ) books and everything kena tarpau nonit to get a single cent if your student buys..

QUIT MY JOB ! QUIT MY JOB ! QUIT MY JOB !

3.forget playing your favorite music when you are in your car . you will be listening to hitz fm (92.9) , fly fm (95.8) for the latest hits , update yourself man !!

say hello to mainstream music

your best friend .

Dude , in this industry ,if you teach what you like …you are doomed ..

Trust me , i’ve been there . i tried teaching a 14 years old punk kid…..some malmsteen , children of bodom , symphony x …kids will just say those are noise ..he even spell Children of Bodom as Children of Boredom

they want :

Good Charlotte

Greenday

Simple Plan

Maroon 5

My Chemical Romance

Avenged Sevenfold

Basically , random rock song that is on the radio..i think the best song i ever taught was “Cannon ROCK by JerryC ”

Believe me , it is hard to get kids to appreciate music like Guns n Roses , Eric Clapton , Deep purple and stuff..sounds too outdated for them

so , you gotta follow the trend , follow the market , Always listen to the radio to see what is new . You have to teach what you don’t enjoy

4.Teaching Music is like the entering the drug business , you can checkout anytime you like , but you can never leave .

**Hotel California Solo kicks in !! **

the moment you enter the industry , within months , you will have more and more students ..

you cannot quit .if you do , people will hunt and kill you

we are like Scarface , minus the money , minus the illegal drugs …matter of time to get screwed …well you can try selling drugs to your student if you want to

if you are good and you quit ..

i can bet my left nuts that at least 70% of your students will quit to follow you …then ..refer to point 1 ..politics lah …not only between other teachers , but your boss and other music center’s boss as well..

suddenly you will be hearing shit like..

“dun hire this teacher , this teacher steal student “

then say byebye to your reputation

*******Free TIP*******

advance advice for teachers

please take a Shit before teaching . half way teaching , and go to toilet to shit for 15 minutes is a NO -NO ..next thing you know , students complain , parents complain ,boss complain ..and your co-workers will say you are a smelly shit and you stink ..so ..JUST GO SHIT LAH

i like this picture .To the person who deleted my post again ..for you