The Apple Sickness

I feel…complete again .

Share on Facebook

The Competition

A Competition between player A & player B .

Player A has all the internal factors - strength , wits , intelligence ,  hard work , endurance , training , ability , skill …

Player B has all the EXTERNAL factors by his side  - weather , conditions , favor , crowd , atmosphere , home ground , technology…

Player A’s strength is his internal factor , his weakness is ..he doesn’t have the external conditions for him to beat Player B . Things that is out of his control .

Player B’s strength is the external factor , his weakness is .. he isn’t as good as player A . Thats about it .

End of the day , the odds are even .

Both of them are GREAT COMPETITORS . They compliment each other .

Close competitions are always like that , one that has good internal factor , and the other that has a better external factor .

Like Lee Chong Wei & Lin Dan , Apple & Andriod , Mercedes & BMW , Fender & Gibson , Captain America & Ironman .

But sometimes , funny thing happens . Let me continue this story ,

When the competition is this close , the question is ..who’s the greedy one ? 

In this story , player B becomes the greedy one . He thinks he can rule the world , he thinks he can be the MASTER OF ALL .The master of both internal and external factor .

I don’t understand why would Player B give up his external factors …and play at player A’s homeground.

Player A will invite him in , and eat him alive .

Because at this point of the competition , player A has the best of both worlds . The best part is he didn’t even try to the master of all .

To player B : 

That strength has been keeping you alive all these years .

You want to give up your strength , use your weakness , and go against player A’s strength ?

Your weakness against his strength . You lose . Player A wins .

Share on Facebook

Salesman

Everybody is a salesman .

You can sell anything , not just products . Sometimes , you sell yourself , your degree , your resume , your reputation , your knowledge , your experience , your company … so that somebody will “buy” it .

So , what makes a good salesman ?

There are 2 types that i’ve seen .

1.A Salesman who builds a real relationship with you , you buy from him because you trust him,  he is reliable , he won’t rip you off , and he will be there when you have problems . Definitely not those “quick sale” type .

*think your family doctor , your family’s insurance agent . Those that your parents already know for 20 years .

2.A Salesman who is too damn honest . He tells the truth , he says what he thinks. He can diss you right away (in your face) - “what you’re having is just crap , please go for the holy grail . Anything below this level is not worthy of my attention”. Many might perceive him as arrogant , blunt or whatsoever ..but they will always appreciate him for telling the truth .

*think Simon Cowell , Certain Hollywood Celebrities , conspiracy theories dudes , if you read askmen.com find for a guy call “the watch snob” . You hate them but you know that they are right . 

You buy from them because , he exposed the truth , show you new perspectives , new ideas and open your world . Or maybe you just want to be like him . 

The worst kind of salesman , are the fakers .He agrees with you with whatever you say , do not have an opinion and finally begs you to buy his product .

So if you’re going to be salesman . Be #1 or #2 .

Oh yeah , I am not a good salesman by the way . lol .

Share on Facebook

Everybody Wants More Moneh

feat. guest blogger : vulcan.x

A close buddy of mine turns 28 soon, and one day over drinks he solemnly remarked “I’ll never be able to make my first million by my 30th birthday”.

That got me thinking of the pressures faced by my generation – the mid twentysomethings – to earn a decent living while putting up with the current government siphoning the country dry. I’m sure everybody knows the situation by now – a fresh graduate’s starting pay is almost the same as it was 20 years ago, but the price of everything has risen threefold. It’s hard enough to stay out of debt, let alone be able to put some money away as savings.

Whenever Gapnap’s friends drop by Music Master to pay him a visit, I frequently overhear them saying “bro, you seem to be doing well, you got any tips on how I can make some money on the side ah?”

Well, not everybody is cut out to be a businessman or entrepreneur. Most people are inherently risk adverse, and even more people do not have any business acumen whatsoever. Hence, I shall attempt to answer the above question by taking their limitations into account.

This is my list, in increasing order of capital intensiveness:

*cue drumroll*

 

1) Go YouTube!

This is pretty self-explanatory. All you have to do is create an entertaining video, post it up on YouTube and hope it goes viral. If it does, just sit back and relax while Google sends you your earnings each month. Of course, you’ll need to have a sense of creativity first.

The most watched YouTube video of 2010 (excluding music videos) generated hundreds of thousands of dollars in revenue and instantly catapulted its creators to fame. For those who have not seen it yet, here is the original interview:

…and here is the auto-tuned version:

Required capital: RM2,500 to buy a computer (or RM0 if you already have one). If a videocam is needed, try borrowing instead of buying it. You can torrent video capture & video editing software online.

 

2) Open a Lok Lok stall!

Everybody loves Lok Lok! It’s great as a snack, it makes a hearty supper, and it’s the perfect meal after a heavy drinking session. Heck, I keep going back for more even though I get the shits after eating it. There always seems to be a crowd around Lok Lok stalls, and I’m honestly surprised that relatively few people consider this a serious opportunity.

Required capital: RM20,000 should be enough to cover the downpayment for the truck, the cooking apparatus and the first batch of raw ingredients. Hire a couple of Burmese dudes to man the operation. Fire them when you catch them pocketing the money, and hire a couple of Nepalese dudes after that

 

3) Invest in Amanah Saham Nasional Berhad!

First off, as a businessman, let me make it clear that I think whoever buys into this is an idiot for several reasons. To paraphrase a friend,

“No self-respecting businessman will invest in ASNB. If ASNB gives him a better return than his business, he really ought to hang himself.”

I admit I’m speaking from my high horse, but it irks me to know that I could be doing so much more for people if they had chosen to invest in me instead of ASNB. Having said that, I hear the returns are decent, and this is as safe an investment as it gets. It’s no coincidence that ASNB is the #1 choice of investment for geriatrics (heh heh heh).

Required capital: Don’t bother if you have less than RM40,000. Also, you gotta have the patience to queue up like a bloody idiot and hope that the shares don’t sell out before your turn arrives.

Crowd of wankers with nothing better to do.

 

4) Do property!

Given how property prices in Malaysia have been skyrocketing, you’d have to be an absolute numbnut to fail with this. Everybody investing in property or real estate in recent times seems to have a success story to tell.

The rightmost building is Menara Taiko. It was bought for RM80 million, and sold less than 1 year after completion to Gamuda Berhad for RM150 million. One of several examples of how ridiculous the property market is in Malaysia today.

This is the perfect industry for people with no business acumen – all you need to do is pick out a location with commercial prospects, buy an apartment or condominium there, and wait 2-3 years for the real estate agents to come calling with offers.

The cynical part of me thinks that the inflated property prices today don’t reflect their true value in the slightest, and the sadistic part of me is hoping for the bubble to burst so I can laugh at all those undeserving losers. But that doesn’t look like happening anytime soon.

Required capital: At least RM250,000 to buy a flat in a decent location. Just don’t start thinking you’re the next Donald f~~king Trump if it pays off.

 

This post is satire and should not be taken seriously. Comments have been turned off. I don’t want to get flamed by people who have invested in ASNB

Share on Facebook